Connect SAFELY

To have the best possibilities open for you, you have to be smart and safe. Here's our advice on how to go about making your connection the most fun that it can be.

Tip #1: Chat cautiously.
Tip #2: Protect your privacy.
Tip #3: Start with the phone.
Tip #4: Do not fly solo.
Tip #5: A photo is not enough.
Tip #6: Connect in public first.
Tip #7: The more you know, the more fun you can have!

Tip #1: Chat cautiously.

When you are communicating online and through email, always remember that the way you are reading the discussion may not be the way the other person intends for it to be read. Without the body language we use in personal, everyday communication, It is easy to make assumptions. And the assumptions that come easily to you in your interpretation may be way off base from the way they were intended. Always remember that the person on the other end of the discussion may not be presenting you with an honest picture of who they are and what they are really about. Note any inconsistencies in their conversation. And pay attention to your gut reaction. If you have a bad feeling about the situation, it is much better to be safe than sorry. Besides, there are so many other people out there you can chat with! Don't hesitate log off a chat session with someone that seems "off" and block them.

Tip #2: Protect your privacy.

NEVER give out any personal information that could be used against you. Be cautious about sharing your address, place of work and DO NOT give out any financial information or confidential data like your passport number, bank account numbers or your social security number.

Tip #3: Start with the phone.

First off, move from fantasies and chatting online to a phone call before you meet offline in person. Once you are comfortable enough, you can share real phone numbers, but make sure you have caller ID service. If things go sour, you can always block their calls. It also lets you know what their number really is. If they block your caller ID, do not accept their calls.

Tip #4: Do not fly solo.

If you do decide to meet for a personal connection, let a friend or family member know you are going out to meet face to face. Leave a trail behind you so that others can follow it if needed. Leave the screen name of the person and address, phone number, time of your date or any other information that could be used to track you down. Leave this information at your computer or in another obvious place. Make it easy for someone you know and trust to find you.

Tip #5: A photo is not enough.

Having a picture is great, but it is certainly not proof of who you are meeting. Always make sure you get more info. Ask questions about the photo like when it was taken, where that person was, who they were with, etc. It is always a good idea to get as many pictures as possible, preferably photos that were taken in different places and at different times. Add up the details and see if everything your connection is sharing with you is consistent and clear.

Tip #6: Connect in public first.

For a first meeting, pick a place that you both agree on, a public place that is comfortable and allows for intimate conversation. Grabbing a coffee together is always a great place to start. Wherever you decide to meet, make sure you have a good plan for getting out of a bad situation. If you are not sure how long the meeting will take, use your cell phone to call the friend or family member when you leave so they know you are on your way home. If things go badly or your connection tries to follow afterwards, take an indirect route home and protect your safety and your privacy. ALWAYS take a cell phone with you. It is also a very good strategy to have a friend call you part way through your date so that you have an easy escape route if you need it. It is always good to let someone you trust know how things are going with that first face-to-face connection. If you change your plans, always let someone know.

Tip #7: The more you know, the more fun you can have!

Take as much time as you need to gather enough information so that you have a clear understanding of what you are getting into with a new connection. Do not feel bad if you decide to cancel a connection at the last minute. Just follow your instincts and if the person is not understanding about you changing your mind or becomes angry, then you know it was not meant to be. If the connection leads to intimacy, get that person's sexual history FIRST. Know what you are getting into ahead of time. Whatever you choose to do, play it safe and play it smart. Peace of mind goes a long way towards enjoying yourself to the fullest.